Wednesday, January 20, 2010


I know I haven't written a non family related post in a while....I guess this is kind of related, some what. I'm having this inner conflict.
On one hand...I see my friends with new babies and I want to try again. I want another member of our little family, I new child to love. I mean, most days I love being a Mom and taking care of my family.
On the other...I have friends that are finding their hobbies and their passions and turning them into a job. And I'm slightly jealous of that. To have time to myself, to work on something I care about, to earn something.
I just don't know what path to take, what's right for me. I know no one can tell me what to do, that it's a decision we have to make...I'm just putting this out there. Something I can look at and read. Doesn't it help to see things written out.
Why can't there be a little guide book we each have. That, when life puts one of these life choices and you're having a hard time figuring it out you could just pick up said book, thumb through the pages and find out which choice would take you where. I mean, there are choices that I have no problem seeing where we should head. This has just always been a tough one for me.
I hate it. Bah! Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.


Jenny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Layla said...

I stuggle with that too, I always think about when will it be "my' time, either to work or go back to school. For me it came down to the fact that I have the rest of my life to do those things and only a couple more years to have another baby. I hope this helps, you'll know what's right for you, just give it some time. Miss you!

Jenny said...

I'm totally with you, Kim. I'm in the same boat. Mark and I are going back and forth about having another child. I love staying home with the kids, but part of me wants to feel like I'm contributing more than just housework. I wish I knew what to do with my life.

Anonymous said...

I wish that book existed also!! You will make the right might take some time. I like Layla's reasoning though!

Kimi said...

i'm intrigued with layla's thinking too, im surprised you do tho michelle. does that mean you'll have another, since you're even younger than me?

Heather said...

I think I am to old to have another, 36 this year, but that doesn't mean I don't think about having another. I to trouble with it. I know Derek doesn't want another one so that kind of helps in my situation.
I don't want to do anything for me, LOL,my hobby isn't something I can turn into a job (not that good at it like Ali Edwards)

Anyway I think if it happens again it will be meant to be as much as it sucks maybe you not being pregnant right now was the best thing and when it is it will happen again.
Chin up girl!

Anonymous said...

No...I will not be having another one Kim! I go back and forth w/the thoughts but I know any more children would not be good for me!!! hehehe


Danielle said...

you know how much i wanted a baby and then i decided i was just happy with what i had ( i remember that day i was walking out of petsmart in san diego with lizzy). i was excited to be moving to washington and when lizzy was in school i would find a job or go back to school. i was finally excited to be getting my life back after 5 years of diaper changing picking up after kids and doing everything for them.

and when i got pregnant with abby i was so upset, mad, and angry (maybe most of it was because i had such terrible morning sickness). i had a plan and this was not it. more diapers and getting up in the middle of the night! but the minute she was born i fell in love. i never minded the 3 am feedings or getting up to get the other ones of to school 7 hours later. i came to realize it was only for a short time in the scheme of things. and i would be able to have time for my self again.

yyou are always going to want what you dont have, its part of human nature.

pray! listen to your heart and God will make good of any decision you will make.