Thursday, September 21, 2006

For the love of Pink...

Only those of you that have seen the TV episodes of the Bratz will fully appreciate that post title! I have a fifth love of my life...and the order is as such: God, Mr.Wonder, WonderKid, My pink dyson, my ipod nano. I love my new ipod! I used to have the shuffle, which was nice, you just never knew what song was coming. I love seeing what's playing, being able to have more than one playlist. And there are even more ammenities that I have yet to explore. We're able to use them in our car which is sooo nice. So many more songs at my finger tips. I even have a playlist for WonderKid, lucky we like alot of the same songs. Smiles I also LOVE the pink earbuds I ordered for them. This site has pink, blue and black earbuds.... if you're sick of the old white that comes with EVERY ipod. This is especially nice if one of those colors are your favorite, which you all know is true true in my case. Just wanted to share my joys. I'm waiting anxiously for my dress, I can't wait to get it so I can try it on. I've got an idea for jewelry, not too much since the dress has that cute pin on the waist. And Erina...I'll remember your advice when I visit the MAC counter. I would rah-tha not look like a clown for the ball, or worse a hooker. Ya know what I mean?!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Un-funny comments

Mr.Wonder keeps making these comments about getting shot or blown up. He'll be talking about what he's going to do the last 3 years of his military career (we're going to go to a non-deployable unit and just chill out), then he'll stick, "that is if I don't get blown up first.." in there. That is so NOT FUNNY! He's always acted like he was never worried about this happening and he'd always tell me not to worry (yeah, like that would happen), that I'd be stuck with him forever. But now he slips these comments in every once in a while. Like he's preparing me or something. I DON'T LIKE IT!


Okay, I am super excited about I just had to share. Every year Mr.Wonder and I go to the Marine Corps Ball, as he's a Marine. For the last several years I have been wearing the same dress. Don't get me wrong, I love the dress...I just wanted to get something new this year. And the dress to the left is what I've found. I LOVE IT! It's very similar to my old dress (the cut is pretty much the same, that cut looks great on me, so why mess with a good thing?) but the big difference is that my old dress was solid black and was one length. This dress had the tulle layer underneath, love that, and it's polka-dotted...white (and I don't know if you can see this in the picture) and pink! You heard right folks...PINK! Now do you get my over excitement? I will add the link to the dress here so you can look at it up close if you'd like. It's a great site, Windsor Store...they've got awesome stuff. I found the shop when we lived in California, wish they had them here. Wait, no I don't...then a ton of other chicks would have my dress at the ball. No way Jose! So, I'm super excited, November 3rd can't come soon enough. The In-laws are coming in so we can stay the night in the hotel. I love them for this, they do it every year. It's so unbelievably sweet of them. And WonderKid loves having her Grandparents come and hang out with it's a win-win situation. I've got shoes, now I just have to figure out hair make-up and jewelry. I think we might actually get pictures this year. I also thought of going to the MAC counter and having them do my makeup. We'll see, I've got a little time to sort everything out. Should I keep the dress a surprise for Mr.W? What do you think?

Monday, September 18, 2006

The dark cloud...

...has lifted! I know I've been very glum on here these last couple weeks. Yesterday I woke up a brand new woman! PMs is so weird that way! I was back to my normal, goofy self. Last night I kept messing with Mr.Wonder and he just kept laughing and laughing. It's such a relief! It's like a complete 180. I hate that I'm like that for a certain period of time every month. Mr.W was always asking what was wrong...what could he do? The answer was nothing. I could not get out of my funk, no matter how hard I tried. There were brief moments, but they were few and far between. This was the worst case of it I ever had! I'm trying to be preventive for next month (I don't even know if that's a word ;)). I'm trying this stuff called Evening Primrose Oil to help with PMS symptoms. If that doesn't work in the next couple of months I have one other thing to try. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I really hope something will work. I don't think I can go through another month like that. I don't want to put my family through it. I am optimistic about my chances. I have to be. I'm just happy to be me!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Plans change...

So, some of you know that Mr.Wonder and I have been discussing adding a WonderBun to the family. We had actually made the decision to try. Well, we really thought we might be this month...and it TERRIFIED us! I'm not just saying we were scared. Thinking we might be really made us realize how much we love our family the way it is. I've been dwelling on the decision of having another child so much lately.
I've realized it's because I'm afraid of having a life outside my daughter. I mean, now that she's starting school. I can go back to work or school. What if I decide to do that and totally eff it up! What if I suck at what I want to do?! How totally embarassing! What if I fail! I am so against failing...that's why I didn't try for any scholarships in high school, I never took AP classes (though I could have), I didn't take my SATs until June of my senior year. What if I really wanted to go to school and I totally blew my SATs and no one wanted me? Couldn't deal with that, so I just didn't do it. I ended up doing fairly well on the SATs (1210, yes, I'm bragging, but I'm very proud of that!) and had I taked them earlier in my high school career I could have gotten some help to go to school. I was just too afraid of failure. Rejection and failure, two of my worst fears....
I can't be totally mad at myself for not going to college, if I had I'd never have met Mr.Wonder and had WonderKid. Now that I have this time and opportunity, I want to try. But I am still at a loss as to what I'd want to do as a career...I had the same problem back in the day. I'm just so afraid of trying. I don't want to be. I guess that just means I need to try something!
Uh, this ended up being different than I thought it would. I just meant to talk about how we decided we're keeping our family the way it is...PERFECT, for us!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Doodled Ramblings...

Words are like water as they flow from my soul
With meaning they can nourish...with none, they are lonely
As they fly on their own, my heart beats faster
They mean so much, what if no one else understands?

Confusion is my constant companion
A part of me
Never knowing which path I should wander down
Take my leisurely stroll...walking aimlessly
Where will my path end?
Will I ever find what I'm looking for?
Will I find what I need?

Friday, September 15, 2006

Pink is the new....EVERYTHING!

I have a love affair with the color PINK! For a long time now, I have been obsessed with the color pink. I haven't gone to the extremes of making a whole room pink or anything. Though I would LOVE pink Jeep like in the Jessica Andrews' Good Times video, maybe brighter though. I'm not sure why I have this passion for a color, but it's there, none the less. I've come a long way from my younger days. I used to be a major tomboy, I was even mistaken for a boy once. I was against all things girly. I was a little in between in high school, always wanting to be more girly but never knowing quite how to pull it off. When I started college, I really tried to embrace my inner girl. That is whem my affair began. It started out slowly, but it's grown over the years. I recently purchased the pink Razr and tricked it out with a pink camo cover.
And today, my dreams came true. Mr.Wonder gave me the okay to buy my dream vacuum. Yes! That's right, I am now the proud Momma of a pink Dyson vacuum. I was a little disappointed that the pink wasn't brighter, I am WAY more into bright pink. I still love love love it! I can't wait to use it...have to wait for Wonderkid's movie to be over. My man really knows how to make me happy. He will definitely be getting some displays of my lovin tonight. Not like I can be bought or anything....hell, what am I saying? Of course I can!
update: I just used the Dyson! It runs like a dream! It's no where near as loud as most vacuums...and it's so easy to push around! I am so glad that I, I mean we, got this beautiful machine. Now I'll never mind vacuuming! I'm thinking that's what Mr.W was thinking.
update2: I have also purchased pink ear buds for my i-pod nano! Yeah! I am sooo cool!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I figured it out...

So...I think I figured out part of my problem this month. I have been way more depressed this cycle than any other before. I've come to realize the varied reasons for this...maninly there are 4! I know, 4 reasons...I'm such a tard. First, I think part of if is missing having WonderKid around. Which I find completely weird...I was counting down the days till I had her out of my hair. But now that she's gone for so much time, I miss her. And I've never been one to deal with change very well. Second, we sold our second car this last weekend. So most of this week I have been stuck at home. It's really hard to go from having total freedom to being stuck in the same place for what seems like FOREVER! Again, it's that pesky change thing. The third and fourth reason are more more physical reasons, rather than emotional. My water intake has drastically reduced and I haven't been doing any exercise (besides walks). Lately I have wanted nothing to do with water, even though I know I need it. I think this is the reason for the many headaches I've been having these past couple weeks. The exercise, I haven't been really exerting myself. I walk, yes, but I don't really work up a sweat. I remember the great feeling I had after doing a good workout, I really need to get back into that.
All these things really went down hill when WK started school. I haven't wanted to ONE SINGLE THING! I need to get over this, or work through it, or whatever. I want to feel happy again. I want to have energy. Blah, I want to go lay down.
On the up side, i heard of this natural PMS helper or whatever you want to call it. I need to go to the health store and see if I can find some to try. I guess, I'll need a car for that...
sidenote: I used Mr.Wonder's laptop to write this...I hate it! I keep hitting the wrong buttons and hitting that little mouse (finger) pad with my thumb...rrrr

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Being Spaghetti...SUX!

I'm sure all of you have read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. There is a Christian book along the same lines called Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti. If goes into the differences between men and women's thought processes. Basically, men think in boxes. If they're in the watching TV box, that's what they're thinking about, nothing else (there are exceptions, of course). Where as, us women are like spaghetti. Every thought (noodle) can touch and lead you to tons of different noodles. Women are never thinking just one thought. They can start thinking about a TV show they watch, which reminded them of a memory with Mom, which reminded them that dinner hasn't been planned, which made them realize they were hungry...and so on! Well, I just want to share this little tidbit...
Just once I would like to start with one thought...and STAY there! I hate that I think of ten million things, all at once. That hundres of thought race through my head at any given moment. I want to be able to sit and think, meditate, focus on one thing, and one thing only.
This gets especially frustrating during "that time of the month". Not only are all those thoughts fighting for attention, but each of those thoughts bring on a totally different feeling. I am the moodiest PMS'er you'll ever meet. I hate that I can't control it. That things just come out of my mouth, all on their own. It's rah-tha irritating...and depressing...and it makes me VERY ANGRY!

This is me during this special time...
Good Vs Evil
It's like the good side of me and the bad side are at war with each other. Neither one will be happy until the other is destroyed...*le sigh* this may take a while!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

1st Homework Assignment

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Well, here it is...WonderKid's first homework assignment. I can't believe my baby is doing homework! *sniff sniff* The assignment was so draw and color or cut and paste 5 things that starts with the letter M and label them. WK picked out all these things, all my herself...she obviously didn't know how to spell them so I told her how to spell each word and she wrote them out. I am so so so proud of her. Sorry you can't see the edges, next time I'll put something behind it.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Random thoughts with Mrs.Wonder

Why do you go through stages where you clean like the dickens but then you taper off and don't want to do ANYTHING? For the past 3 days I have had NO desire to clean, what so ever. I know I need to, but I don't want to. I know if coinsides with my next question...
Why is it that my PMS starts a few days after I ovulate and sticks around until half way through my period? (Sorry if any guys are reading this) I don't think it's fair to last that long. I mean that's 2 weeks of being either b!tchy or depressed, more often depressed. Also, when has it been okay for nausea to become a PMS symptom? Ever since I got off the pill in February, every month I get sick to my stomach while I go through my PMS. THAT'S NOT FAIR! You should only feel sick when you're actually sick or when your pregnant. Am I right? Doesn't that sound fair? I know, I're all thinking, ""Mrs.Wonder, you should know my now, life isn't fair. Isn't that what your mother always told you?" Well, yes...thank you. She did tell me that and I didn't agree with it then either. =P
I need something to pump me up again. Just not sure what it is...this Pink Dyson from Target would surely perk me up and get me raring to go again...I just don't think Mr.Wonder would see paying $400 bones to perk up my cleaning habits as worth it. We can agree to disagree on that that. I don't really understand my fascination with pink. I absolutely LOVE IT and can't figure out why some other people don't. It's just a color that makes you HAPPY! Smiles As the infamous band Aerosmith once sang (in their greatest song EVER), "Pink, it's my new obsession...Pink, it's not even a question..." LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

One Tough Morning

WonderKid went to bed last night saying she didn't want to go to school tomorrow. She woke up this morning whining that she didn't want to go to school, she wanted to stay home with me. She cried putting on her jacket...she cried walking to the bus stop...she cried waiting at the bus stop...she bawled getting on the bus...and then I cried. It's a wonder my heart didn't shatter into a million tiny little pieces. I went on a run after the bus pulled off and I started bawling half way through it...I was trying to pray for WK. I know part of it was her being tired and wanting to stay home with me, but I think part of it was just seeing if she cried if I'd cave and not make her go. I think the novelty has worn off. I don't think Kindergarten is as much fun as Preschool was. I think she'd rather be having fun, than learning. Today is going to be a tough day. I'm not sure if I should let her nap though. Maybe putting her to bed earlier would be better. I want her to like school. I want her to enjoy learning. Not dread it like it's the plague.
Last night her teacher said that sometimes kids cry for their parents benefit. That they feel guilty for wanting to go to school. For wanting to learn things that their parents aren't teaching them. I really hope that's what this is. That she just feels guilty, that I can talk to her about. I just don't know if her teacher realizes how shy she is, what a sensitive heart she has. I know I baby her, but she's my baby!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Haven't I grown up at all?

GrrrThis here post is in regards to the Open House I just got back from. Am I not a grown up? Have I not matured at all since junior high?
I'm sitting in WK's classroom and I'm thinking, "What am I doing here? I shouldn't have a child old enough to be in school. I don't know what questions to ask, I don't know how to be the Mom of a school age child." I feel completely out of place, like I don't belong. I've long since had a problem with feeling like I belong some where, maybe this stems from that. I just feel unprepared, ALL THE EFFING TIME! I never felt like I knew what was going on when WK was a baby. I never feel like I know what I'm talking about with other military wives. I always felt like I was faking it at church, even though I love the Lord. I feel like a complete dolt! Like I'm stupid or something!
I just don't know what to do about this. I feel like I'm not teaching WK enough. Like I'm not preparing her for the world out there.
I'm waiting to talk to her teacher and I feel like I'm in trouble and waiting for the principal. I don't understand why I feel so intimidated by everyone. For pete's sake, I was intimidated by junior high kids when I worked at the coffee shop. I'd get embarrassed taking their order, like they were judging me. I swear by the time I was done talking to her teacher I was probably as red as the t-shirt I was wearing. Rolling EyesI don't like feeling like this, but I don't know how to change it.

Kissing Hand

So, WK went to school again (of course she did). Saying goodbye was much easier today, knowing she'd come home in one piece both physically and emotionally. I just wanted to share this adorable craft she brought home today.

I thought it reminded me of the Kissing Hand, a book WK's grandma gave her and that I love to read to her. If you have kids going to or in school and you haven't read this book, you need to read it! It is absolutely adorable! Come to find out, it is exactly like the Kissing Hand because they read that book in school today. I will treasure this little piece of art for the rest of my life. I can't even describe how it makes me feel looking at it. WonderKid told me that I can carry it around in my pocket while she's at school, in case I miss her. She really is the light of my life.
Mr.Wonder is playing a new video game and he keeps getting frustrated at it and groaning. After a particularly loud groan WK says, "Daddy, you have to have confidence in yourself. Okay? Can you do that Daddy?" Then a few minutes later he groans AGAIN (he's really having trouble with this game) and she says, "Remember what I told you? You have to have respect..." Mr.W asks, "Respect for what, honey?" To which she replies, "Respect for the game." Mr.W chuckled and said, "You're right baby, maybe if I respect the game it'll be nicer to me." I really love listening to conversations between them.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

And I Cried...

So, I did it! I was one of those mothers that cried when the bus pulled away. I didn't think I would, I was fine last year for preschool...maybe it was easier because I took her and I had met her teacher, seen her classroom. I don't know, but I did it today. She was very excited to go, lots of kids in our apartment complex were there waiting for the bus too. As it got closer, I could tell she was getting a little more nervous. I can't believe my baby is a Kindergartener! I felt like such a fool, crying. Mr.Wonder had the day off so he went to the bus stop with us. It was easier to have his shoulder to cry on, though he didn't understand it. I can't say I do either. I felt better when I heard the Mom behind me sniffling. Another Mom said, "I cried the whole frist week I took my son last year, and I drove him to school." So, I know I'm not alone.
I'm not sad, I think I'm scared for her. I'm scared kids will be mean to her. I've seen this already at parks, she's so open and willing to play with anyone, it hurts my heart to see her rudely ignored by other children. I'm scared she'll be over-whelmed. I'm scared she'll be scared. I won't be there to help her through it. That hurts me. I don't want my little girl hurt or scared or to think that I've deserted her. I know I can't protect her forever, I know she needs to learn to do things on her own, to learn independence.
Why did this time have to come so quickly? What the heck am I going to do with my time? I figured it out, 4 hours, 5 days a week...that's 20 hours a week, TO MYSELF! That's a part time job! My house will be spotless, I can tell you that much.
I can't wait to go and meet the bus here soon. To give her a big hug and hear about her day. I hope it was a good one. I hope she had fun. I can't believe how much I miss her. Even though Mr.Wonder didn't cry, he didn't want to stray too far from home this morning. Wanted to be here, just in case. He misses her as much as I do, even though he's not usually here during the day. We get to go and meet her teacher tomorrow evening. That lady better take good care of my baby.
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ps...WonderKid's outfit is the one that Mr.W got her when he was in Spain. She LOVES it! Her shirt says "I <3 candy!" She'd wear it everyday if she could.
So, WonderKid has returned. She had a great day. I was so happy to see her smiling face through the window as the bus pulled up. I had lots of paperwork to go through since we weren't able to do the Meet the Teacher or the Open House before she actually started school, all due to the lovely Ernesto. I'm excited to meet her teacher, I have a feeling I will like her, especially after gettting a little note in WK's bag that said:
I gave your child a wink and smile as he entered my room today.
I know how hard it was for you to say "Good-bye" and for her to stay.
You've been with him for five years now and you've been a loving guide.
But now the time has come to leave her by my side.
Just know that as the bus drove away and tears down your cheeks might flow
I'll love you child as I would my own and help every child learn and grow.
Isn't that the sweetest thing...I almost started crying AGAIN when I read it. Maybe this school thing won't be so bad after all.