So, those of you that know me really well know that I am a Daddy's girl...ALL THE WAY! I don't know what it is, but I just think the world of my Dad! I know this is a little late for Father's Day, but I wanted to do it then, I just spaced...been doing that alot lately. And as Eric is not coming home until late tonight, I have the time right now. My Dad told me that when I was born, the doctor handed me to him before my Mom. Then he gave me to Mom. He said I was the only one he held first and that maybe that had something to do with the special bond we have. He wasn't allowed in the room for my two oldest sister's births (dang early70s), for Dani he was out to sea and for Beth she went straight to my Mom. I felt so special when he told me that. My dad has always had a special place in my heart, but that space somehow grew more that day. Don't get me wrong, I love my Moms..it was just different with Dad. When I got in trouble, my Dad telling me he was disappointed knocked me down quicker than anything my Mom could say. I was one that was always quick to apologize and ask forgiveness, I still am. I hate hurting people, but hurting my Dad? I'd rather die!
My reason for getting into this...I hope that one day Rye will have that kind of bond with Eric, but I'm afraid that she won't. There are still times when she gives him the cold shoulder or flat out doesn't listen to him and it hurts, because I can see the hurt in his face. I know part of it comes from him not being home, at work or away for work. She sees it as me caring more because I'm home with her. I've tried to explain that he has to work to take care of us and that he'd way rather be here with us than at work, I think she's starting to get it...but then she'll have one of those days. When she's just with him...like on Saturday they had a Daddy/Daughter date, she's great. Listens, has a good time. But as soon as I'm around, it's like he looses all his appeal. It's the same as when she's getting babysat. She doesn't act up, she does what she's told...as soon as I show up though, the whining starts, the baby talk shows up and the attitude. It's really getting frustrating. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? Is there any thing I can say or do? Thanks for any ideas!
Sidenote: I know this is my 3rd post today, I swear it's my last. =)
Grief in Time
6 years ago
2 comments:
i was told that it is a compliment (for lack of a better word) that they act better somewhere else than they do at home. it shows you are doing a good job in raising them.
as for advice- i got nothing cuz my kids are kind of the same way. except it is more opposite. they listen to what ever rick tells them. he has their full respect or fear i just havent figured it out yet.
The same thing happens to me, The Hub, and The Girl. She wants me instead of him, all the time. She almost freaks out if he tries to help her and she wants me. But it is because we are there all the time. They feel safe with us, they know they can trust us. But be careful what you wish for. Someday she's only gonna' want Daddy, and that's gonna' hurt too.
And I totally hear you on the being good for everybody else while you're not there, and then the monster comes out when you're around. But Dani's right, it is a compliment to your parenting skills. She has learned how to behave properly in public. But when you come around, the one person she is completely comfortable around, she knows it's safe to let it all hang out. She knows she can be snotty, and whiny, and all that, and that you'll still love her. It's normal child behavior.
You are a great mother. Please don't think otherwise. You have a happy, bright, creative, beautiful little girl. You and your hubby should be proud of that!
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