Saturday, May 06, 2006


I read this poem on a friend's myspace page. It clicked with me. First it made me think of my little sister. But then, it made me realize that this is how I want to feel. I want to be satisfied with making a home and raising the Kid. My shadow of myself never had dreams, I still don't feel like I do...I just want to be happy.

She came tonight as I sat alone..
The girl I used to be....
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully:
Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes I had for you?
The great career,the splendid fame,
all the wonderful things to do?
Where is the mansion of stately height
With all its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels in your hair?
And as she spoke, I was very sad
For I wanted her pleased with me...
This slender girl from the shadowy past..
The girl that I used to be.
So gently rising, I took her hand
And guided her up the stairs..
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet, and fair.
And I told her that these are my only gems,
And precious they are to me;
That silken robes is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.
And my mansion of stately height is love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls,
For the dear ones who come and go
And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me.
And I saw the woman that I am now..
Pleased the girl I used to be.

Will I ever be happy with where I am? At any given time? Do I need to get a job and work to feel fulfilled? Will having more children give me what I'm looking for? I feel so lost most of the time and I don't like the feeling. I just don't know anymore...

1 comment:

Heather said...

That poem gave me goose bumps Kim! The Lord will lead you by those still waters of contentment Kim. Proverbs 31 is an excellent chapter for women. Proverbs 31:25 "Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come" I continue to pray for you in your "search" for what the Lord has for you. ::hugs:: heather