Poem

I read this poem on a friend's myspace page. It clicked with me. First it made me think of my little sister. But then, it made me realize that this is how I want to feel. I want to be satisfied with making a home and raising the Kid. My shadow of myself never had dreams, I still don't feel like I do...I just want to be happy.

She came tonight as I sat alone..
The girl I used to be....
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully:
Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes I had for you?
The great career,the splendid fame,
all the wonderful things to do?
Where is the mansion of stately height
With all its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels in your hair?
And as she spoke, I was very sad
For I wanted her pleased with me...
This slender girl from the shadowy past..
The girl that I used to be.
So gently rising, I took her hand
And guided her up the stairs..
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet, and fair.
And I told her that these are my only gems,
And precious they are to me;
That silken robes is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.
And my mansion of stately height is love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls,
For the dear ones who come and go
And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me.
And I saw the woman that I am now..
Pleased the girl I used to be.

Will I ever be happy with where I am? At any given time? Do I need to get a job and work to feel fulfilled? Will having more children give me what I'm looking for? I feel so lost most of the time and I don't like the feeling. I just don't know anymore...