Friday, April 21, 2006

The war rages on & the love endures....

The battle continues with my arch nemesis, CAFFEINE! It is evil I tell you! For those of you who have not yet encountered the horrible beast, I hope that one day you will....I don't want to be the only loser who can't drink the stuff. Before having Monkey, I realized I was sensitive to the stuff. Actually, the only time I've been able to drink it and NOT be affected by it was when I was pregnant (there's a reason to get another bun in the oven ;)). After I had the little chimpette, I was back to the sensitivity crap...Which double sucks because one of my favorite beverages is the king of caffeine, Mt. Dew. Well, my friends...This year this saga has hit an all time low. A few months back I realized that even decaf had too much caffeine for me. DECAF for the love of mike! I get the same irritability that I do with the regular stuff, especially when it's getting out of my system. Yesterday my hopes of ever getting over this were completely destroyed. There I was snacking on some chocolate covered pretzels (not even regular sized ones, the bite size ones that Hershey's came out with), thinking nothing of it. I didn't go overboard, not like I ate the whole bag or anything...but later that evening I noticed myself getting more and more irritated by Monkey. For no reason! I thought maybe I was just being moody or something. Then last night, I go NO sleep. I was completely baffled. I was trying to think through what I had eaten that day to find the culprit, the only thing that it could possibly been was those delicious pretzel bites. I guess the 20 or 30 of them I had was just too much. So now I not only have to avoid regular sodas and decaf stuff, but I can't have too much chocolate either. Why must this keep getting worse and worse. Which brings me to the second part of my subject...
So yesterday evening and all of today so far, I have been a total meanie to my sweet little Monkey. I know I'm being a terd, but I can't seem to stop myself. I know the reason for it, but I can't shut my mouth. What amazes me is that Monkey is so eager to forgive me when I apologize to her for my horrific behavior. She just wants her nice mommy back. I had to tell her that my attitude had nothing to do with her, that I loved her and was so so so sorry that I was being a butt head (I didn't actually use those words for fear of her repeating them). She just wanted to love on me without my freaking out like she was throwing hot oil all over me. She has such a sweet nature and I'm so blessed to have her for a daughter. God certainly didn't hold all my past wrong doing against me when he let me take care of her for him. I know God doesn't do that, but I get a little scared when I think of all I've done growing up. A child love is such a gift.
Now that I'm getting all mushy, I'll sign off. Please say a prayer that tomorrow my caff-attitude will have subsided.

4 comments:

dani said...

maybe its not caffiene...maybe it is sugar

Stephanie said...

Oh, Kimi....I understand! :)

Heather said...

I soooo understand. I hate myself when I act awful...just can't stop my stinkin MOUTH Grrr!! Right there with you my friend!!

Beth said...

I never act that way. I don't know what your problem is.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Whoo, sorry. That was funny, huh?

Caff-attitude. I like it. My caf-Fiend sensitivity hasn't been too bad lately. I still need to lay off of it some, but I don't think I'll have to cut it completely. Praise Jesus!!!

Okay, I've got more reading to do. Lata'!